All Of The Selves We Have Ever Been
Menu

all of the selves we Have ever been

For Peace on Earth

12/22/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
                                 
                                   Man is born broken.
                                   He lives by mending.
                                  The grace of God is glue.
                                                                               Eugene O’Neill
 
I pull into a parking lot where others wait in their cars for the office doors to open.  Soon people begin hobbling into the waiting room.  My son and I follow them inside.  Their wardrobe accessories include slings, braces, and walkers.  Winter coat sleeves hang loosely from shoulders.  Slippers cover bound feet.  Here, no explanations are needed for limitations that are so evident.  Here, human brokenness is not just acceptable, it is the reason this place exists.  The unique wardrobe accessories are badges of courage for a kind of brokenness legitimized by doctors and their prescription pads.  People eye each other and joke about their state of dress, their appliances, and their injuries.  I sit among this community of the broken as it gathers for mending.  Some might call this church.

Instead of St. Peter at the gate, there is a woman named Brenda at the front desk.  Her affect is bright and she greets each patient by name and with enthusiasm.  While Brenda is not a physical therapist, there can be no doubt that she is part of the therapy.  Brenda recognizes and greets each patient and regular caregiver. She knows each patient’s name, schedule, health insurance, and balance due.   She remembers the weather the last time one patient was seen, and she jokes with another patient about wearing shorts on a cold December morning.  On the rare occasion when Brenda is not at her desk, the entire experience seems off.  I experience the feelings of unreality known to the lost:  Where am I?

The high priests here are the physical therapists.  They are generally young, fit, and sure of themselves.  They are friendly and kind and greet each patient with that brand of humor that comes with familiarity.  Patients seem to feel the need to urgently confess their sins the minute the therapists call their names:  “I didn’t do all my exercises this week,” or “I re-injured myself chasing after a toddler.”  There is no shame here, no reason to hide the truth. The therapists offer quick reassurance.

In a couple of months, we will all say good bye to Brenda and these high priests as we each go our own way with bodies healed. All-in-all, it is a pleasant experience.  I ponder the example as I wait for my son to finish his therapy.  Rarely, in our daily lives can we be so open about our brokenness.  And rarely, is there such a clear remedy or so much hope.  There is no sling for a sagging self-esteem, no brace for a broken heart, no boot to correct the steps of a wayward child, and no assurance that the suffering will be temporary.

We piece together our lives with threads that are not always sturdy.  There seems to be no end to the threats that can break us.  And yet so much of what hurts is hidden.  What if we could be as honest about our brokenness and as open in our mending as these folks inside the physical therapy office?  What if there was someone who could see to the place inside us where it hurts?  Determine how much weight we can bear?  Legitimize our suffering?  Write a prescription for the cure?

We find ourselves preparing for Christmas in a time when the whole world seems broken.  We await the birth of a savior.  The example in the story of Jesus is that of a man who was born and then broken.  He mended and rose again.  Along the way, he healed the sick, found the lost, and welcomed the outcasts.  He did this largely by seeing them.

May we celebrate this holiday season by seeing each other and by offering to others some of the glue and the grace that holds us together.

And in the New Year may we follow this advice from Rabbi Lawrence Kushner:

     When you see something that is broken, fix it.  When you find something that is lost, return it.
     When you see something that needs to be done, do it.  In that way you will take care of your world
     and repair creation…realize the awesome power God has put into [your] hands.”

 
Happy holidays my friends.  Good tidings of comfort and joy!
 
  


0 Comments

Deviled by Eggs

12/1/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture

You might say we’re hair-brained.

I blame it on Ali McGraw. During our teen years my friend Kay and I wanted to look like Ali.  Mostly, we wanted her long, thick, straight hair.  It was difficult to tame our fine, wavy locks.  The hairy romance turned into a horror story starring Dippity-Do and sleepless nights with our heads covered in hard plastic curlers the size of orange juice cans.  As the years went by, we continued to be out of step with the latest hair styles, but that didn’t stop us from trying. We slowly shifted from Love Story to the Hair Wars Trilogy:  stress, menopause, and aging.  Dippity-Do didn’t do it for us, and our hair disappeared faster than Jedi morals.  At last I could claim thinness, but it was the wrong part of me.

With the invention of the internet, Kay and I trolled like a couple of conspiracy theorists looking for ways to overturn natural selection.  We both consulted dermatologists.  We spent small fortunes on shampoos, chemical potions, powdery fibers, and essential oils.  Nothing worked.  At some point, we began to weigh the hope of voluminous heads of hair against the health risks of so many potions.  We moved on to the more benign products:  concealing haircuts, hairpieces, wigs, and a variety of caps.  

We made frequent vows to “not worry about it,” to live in a Zen-like state of mind, to be brave and magnificent in our self-acceptance.  That usually lasted until one of us heard about a new product or strategy.  With the internet offering a cure a minute, our bravery and magnificence became as straggly as our graying locks.

Most recently, Kay called me with a new discovery:  “apply raw eggs to your hair—it’s some kind of high protein diet for your head.”  My friend continued with the internet advice:  “Don’t get the shower water too hot or it will cook the egg making it difficult to remove from the hair.”

We discussed our reservations.  Kay shared her fear that she would not be able to get the egg out of her hair and would awaken one morning to find mice nibbling on her head. Kay has a mouse phobia.  In addition to growing more hair, her life’s work includes a daily inspection of her property for signs of mouse activity.  The quality Kay desires most in a man is an exterminator’s license.   And yet, she remained invested in this strategy.  Ever-supportive, I said: “You go first.”

I checked in with Kay a week later.  It was a hot summer day.  “How’d it go with the eggs?”

“Well, it was hard to get them out.  I went for a walk, and my hair puffed up like a soufflé.  When a car door slammed, I ended up with egg all over my face.  I am trying to salvage my sunglasses.”

There should have been a lesson in that, but I left the conversation with the idea that maybe I could tweak the recipe and achieve a better outcome.  No longer one to say dye, I cannot seem to put the idea to rest.  If you hear that I am being pursued by a fox, assume it’s not an extremely handsome young man.

 

0 Comments

    Author

    Lilli-ann Buffin
    ​

      Get Notified of New Posts 
      Enter your email address and click on "Subscribe"

    Subscribe

    Archives

    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020

    Categories

    All
    Acne
    Adulting
    Advertising
    Aging
    Arms
    Barbie
    Baths
    Beauty
    Beloved Community
    BINGO
    Birds
    Books
    Branding
    Bravery
    Cars
    Catching Up
    Children
    Church
    Cliches
    Clothing
    Comfy Couches
    Coping With Stress
    Coronavirus
    Death & Dying
    Diets
    Dignity
    Discernment
    Drive Ins
    Drive-ins
    Driving
    Essential Workers
    Exercise
    Faith
    Falling
    Family
    Father's Day
    Food
    Friendship
    Fruit
    Games
    Good Intentions
    Goodness
    Good Old Days
    Grace
    Graduation
    Grandparents
    Gratitude
    Hair
    Handwriting
    Health
    Heroes
    History
    Holidays
    Hope
    Houses
    Humor
    Illness
    Imagination
    Influencers
    Ironing
    John Lewis
    Knowledge
    Laughter
    Laundry
    Leadership
    Libraries
    Listening
    Lists
    MacGyver
    Madge
    Magazines
    Mail
    Masks
    Memorial Day
    Memories
    Mental Illness
    Miracles
    Moral Lessons
    Mothers
    Music
    Names
    Nancy Drew
    Nature
    Neighbors
    Oreos
    Other-Mothers
    Our Stuff
    Outdoors
    Parenting
    Pets
    Phones
    Poignancy
    Politics
    Prayer
    Purses
    Reading
    Recipes
    Reinvention
    Revelations
    Rewards
    Rotisserie Chicken
    Saturdays
    Saving The World
    Schools
    Shelf Life
    Showers
    Siblings
    Small Things
    Sorrow
    Speed
    Sports
    Stores
    Substance Abuse
    Success
    Sunshine
    Technology
    Thanksgiving
    Toilet Paper
    Tools
    Truth
    Uncles
    Veterans
    Voting
    Walking
    War
    Water
    Weather
    Wilderness
    Wishing
    Women
    Wonder
    Words
    Work

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
    • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Other Works
  • What Readers Say
  • Home
    • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Other Works
  • What Readers Say