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all of the selves we Have ever been

A Doctor in the House

2/3/2020

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I am in love with a doctor.

For years he has entertained me and taught me about kindness and generosity.  When I doubted myself, he reassured me, "Oh, the places you'll go!"   What I love most about him is that he taught me to read--"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.”

But a few months ago, I had occasion to look deeper into my relationship with the good Dr. Seuss.

I was having dinner with a colleague and her two beautiful little girls--B One and B Two.  As we waited for our food to arrive, mom attended to the infant, B Two.  I offered to read to B One, a curious and busy preschooler.  I pulled a copy of The Cat in the Hat from my bag.  B One advised me that she had several copies of this book at home.  While B One drew on her paper place mat, I started into the story.  When the Cat in the Hat arrived on the scene, B One said, “He’s mean.” 

“Mean? Or is he playful?” I asked.

 “Oh, he’s mean!”  B One said with certainty.

I was taken aback and needed to quickly revise my own point of view.  I have learned not to doubt the profound wisdom and insight of preschoolers.

As an adult, I still love the rhymes that fill me with joy, the bright primary colors, all of the action in the story, the suspense.   When I am overwhelmed, I still recite to myself “…this mess is so big and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up.  There is no way at all!”  And then I remember that the Cat in the Hat had no fear at all.  The mess did get cleaned up—and in the nick of time.

B One’s words prompted me to consider the experience of a preschooler who is busy trying to grow a conscience. The Cat in the Hat was not merely playful; he was mean.  I stand corrected.  Imposing yourself and temptation on the vulnerable is mean.  Rules matter… because they do…and for our safety.

I began to think about the book as a moral tale--a couple of bored kids at home alone on a rainy day-- definite potential for trouble.  Then, of course, trouble arrives with a BUMP, and the Cat in the Hat steps in on the mat.  He reminds the children that they can have fun even when it is not sunny.  Now that seems like some good cognitive restructuring—at least on the surface.

The children don’t know what to do, and there is a stranger in the house! The fish in the dish serves in loco parentis—the voice of the parent IS the voice of conscience at that age.  The fish reminds the children they should not get involved with the Cat in the Hat.  Then the Cat in the Hat brings some friends to this impromptu party.  Things get out of hand and the house is trashed.  The boy worries what his mother will say and what she will do to them if she finds them this way.  So the boy gathers courage and takes control.  He tells the Cat in the Hat “Now do as I say.”  The Cat in the Hat gets rid of his friends and returns to help clean up the mess.  The story ends with another moral dilemma—“Do we tell our mother the truth about what went on there that day?”

Wow! That’s some heavy reading!

It is hard work growing a conscience.  Some people never do.

​​So lessons learned:
​
  • It is mean to lead others into temptation and to ignore the rules.
  • Listen to your mother and to your conscience.
  • Clean up your messes.
  • And if you ever have 26 sons, please do NOT name them all Dave…but that’s another story.
 
Thanks, B One, for making me wiser!

 
And thanks, Dr. Seuss, for making me a reader!

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    Lilli-ann Buffin
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