all of the selves we Have ever been
By the time this pandemic is over,
we will be seeing everyone’s true colors.
I am not talking about reputation; I am talking about roots.
Perhaps this life changing event is really an international conspiracy to answer the question, “Does she or doesn’t she?” The schemers will not have to torture our hairdressers to know for sure. In a few months, we’ll all know who among us is a true blond or redhead. There will be no kidding ourselves or others about how old we are.
What will jump start the economy? Manufacturing plants and airline travel? No way! It will be barbershops and beauty salons. Available appointments will be as scarce as toilet paper.
Face it. By the time we are free to move about the country, we are going to have to ask folks for their IDs. That will include our loved ones too. We will be a new people when this is over—a gray, striped, long-haired, bearded, straggly-looking people with big eyebrows, and ear hair.
Now that I think of it, none of us will have acceptable IDs. Everything on our fancy new driver’s licenses will be a lie. We’ll be older with new hair color and new hairdos. And for sure, that weight figure that was always questionable will be entirely implausible.
A big part of my day is thinking about what I will eat next. Lounging for a living doesn’t burn many calories. My new all-day wardrobe of pajama bottoms and sweatpants is not doing me any favors either. I can feel the blue jeans getting snug, the work pants stretched to their limits. I renew my vows each morning. I promise to get out for a walk. I promise to watch that exercise video…But with the perpetually cloudy skies and frequent rain, it is easier to divorce myself than keep my promises. I hope I get enough money for a new wardrobe in the settlement.
I may also have to re-take the vision test. Currently, my driver’s license says I must wear corrective lenses. Spending so much time indoors under dark clouds I feel like a bat in a cave. When I am released, I will be blinded by the light of day and forced to travel at night by sonar. I will need a self-driving car.
Recovery is going to get expensive! There will be the long hours in the salon, the new wardrobe, the self-driving car, and the license renewal. Whoever said freedom does not come without a price sure knew what he was talking about.
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